Sultryminxzoe's Blog

“Nobody is talking about”…discrimination in Geek and Gaming Culture June 23, 2014

Filed under: Geek Rant,Personal — sultryminxzoe @ 8:02 am
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I spend a LOT of time discussing discrimination and equality in geek and gaming culture (more so; this past weekend amid conversations of sexism in fandom and the lack of playable females or characters of differing race or ethnicity in gaming). I have been hearing the same statement again and again: “Nobody is talking about…”

1.)    Please do not say this TO ME. As a bi-racial woman, these are issues I deal with in every aspect of my life. I am having these conversations on a daily basis.

2.)    Ask yourself, honestly: are making yourself aware of the conversation? Each of us is surrounded by people of a different gender, race, ethnicity, sexual preference, capacity, and/or religious background. I assure you these issues are being discussed.

3.)    If you are not hearing the discussion, START THE CONVERSATION YOURSELF! If you are not willing to stand up, neither can you expect anyone else to do so. No one wants to be met with confrontation, derision or be dismissed off hand. It takes a certain amount of strength and courage to raise your voice amid silence.

4.) REMEMBER, SILENCE HAS POWER. To paraphrase an audience member in a panel on which I participated at Arisia this year, “everyone hears silence differently.” You may remain silent out due to a fear of opposition or because you feel it isn’t your place to speak up. Silence communicates no intention and can often be seen as acquiescence or an excuse to marginalize the need for social progress – if people do not voice opposition, it must not be an issue of concern.

While discrimination exists in our society, there is no excuse for anyone to say they are not aware. If you are feeling underrepresented, misrepresented, especially if you are feeling discriminated against, RAISE YOUR VOICE! Do not allow your silence to lend credence to the belief that no problem exists. As the saying goes, “if you aren’t part of the solution, you are part of the problem.”


Sweet & Spicy Chicken June 22, 2013

Filed under: Recipes — sultryminxzoe @ 7:58 pm
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Chicken, approx. 6 lbs
1 TBSP Garlic Powder
1 TBSP Onion Powder
1 tsp Black Pepper
1 tsp Paprika
1/2 tsp Cayenne Powder
1/2 tsp Salt
2 TBSP Honey, warmed
Olive Oil

*These measurements create a subtle heat. Feel free to adjust the measurements for your desired intensity, or try adding a bit of Chili Powder.


1.) Pre-heat oven to 350F.
2.) In a large plastic bag, combine the spices and shake to mix.
3.) Rinse chicken. Pat dry. Lightly apply olive oil to chicken and massage into the meat.
4.) Add chicken to the plastic bag and shake to cover chicken completely in rub mix.
5.) Remove chicken from plastic bag and arrange in 9×12 baking pan.
6.) Bake for 35 minutes.
7.) Pour honey evenly over chicken and continue baking for another 10 minutes, or until liquid runs clear when chicken is cut.



Deciding to Be Brave January 24, 2013

Filed under: Personal — sultryminxzoe @ 2:27 am
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Some of you know that I sing – not often and never in public. You see, I’m a bit of a perfectionist and have a crippling fear of failure. The problem with that mindset is you can never be good enough and you limit your potential to enhance any skill. Despite the fear, I have aspirations. In order to reach any goal, I need to get out of my own way. So, here we are…a new adventure. It’s a strange thing to think comfort can be found among strangers, but there it is, the great truth of the internet.

Support it, hate it, it’s not about you. It’s about making the decision to be brave and step out of my comfort zone.

*Disclaimer: I am classically trained, but starting with the mainstream…for now. I’m a work in progress trying to find my voice.
“The Story” by Brandi Carlisle
“You Don’t Know Me” by Eddy Arnold

What value do I add? January 22, 2013

Filed under: Personal — sultryminxzoe @ 1:14 am

Lately, I have been feeling overwhelmed by the amount of requests I have received from people who consider themselves, and whom I would consider friends, asking me to go out of my way to get or do something for them – use some leverage or connection I have developed to assist them (I am not talking about co-workers or my fellow geek community members). I have no problem with these requests for the most part. However, in the past few weeks it seems like more and more of these requests are coming from friends that I haven’t had regular contact with in quite some time. People have lives and life often gets in the way. I understand and accept these facts. The situations I refer to are those requests being presented without any of the pleasantries a friendship affords and the prompt disappearance shortly after the other person has gained whatever favor they asked.

“Does no one love me for myself alone?”

Admittedly, there is more to the story and to my current mindset. Unfortunately, I cannot address all of these issues at once. So let’s stick to the problem at hand.

I work hard to learn new skills and, thankfully, am blessed with an inquisitive mind and a major drive to be the best at what I do. Having been there before, I can appreciate how difficult it can be to find answers and master certain skill sets, Therefore, I am very glad to help friends and strangers alike, whenever possible. I try to be active in multiple forums and often offer assistance to others. However, I am faced with others who feel my assistance or influence is in some way owed to them. In some instances, they feel I should put my reputation on the line to assist them in furthering their goals. Sadly, I have been burned in the past by such situation. I doubt I am alone in that. The goal here is to limit the damage. For me, that means a hard look at who I consider a friend. Let the culling begin.

The blame is not entirely on the other person. I recognize I am full of faults and shortcomings of my own. Seriously, I read these words as I type them. I know how it sounds. As 2013 is my year to work through issues which limit my potential and encroach on my sanity, I am going beyond taking a serious look at the people I surround myself with. I am evaluating my own contributions to my relationships – asking myself “what value do I add?” In cases where my contribution is found wanting asking a question that is arguably more important – “do I wish to change for the sake of this relationship?” I will be honest, I have maintained relationships strictly for the sake of being polite. Who does that help? Relationships aren’t about quantity, they are truly about quality. If I have no vested interest in you and what is happening in your life, nor you in me and mine, why are we wasting one another’s time and energy – time and energy which could be better applied in other, more meaningful, relationships?


Writing Revisited January 15, 2013

Filed under: Writing — sultryminxzoe @ 6:52 pm

My mother would tell you I have been writing poetry and short stories from the time I learned how to write. Like many writers, I have aspirations of writing a novel and who knows, perhaps one day I will. At one time, I wrote with wild abandon. I would sit at my computer, place my fingers on the keys and the story unfolded before me. I may have started with a basic idea of a plot point. For the most part, however, I found as much delight in discovering where the story would lead as strangers did while reading.

These days, I write about video games, web series and all thing geek on my website, Good To Be A Geek. While I enjoy the topics and even a more formal tone in the writing I do for the site, I have been thinking more and more about revisiting my authorial past. You can see by my most recent posts, I have started already.

If you would like to comment, feel free to do so…or don’t. Truth be told, I am posting these musing more for the exercise of doing than for public consumption. That being said, constructive criticism is always appreciated 🙂


My Mind’s Eye

Filed under: Writing — sultryminxzoe @ 6:46 pm

Dark and cold,
I yearn to be touched,
yearn for your loving embrace.

Sleep comes hard for me in this strange place.
In the end, it does come and my mind is pulled
in so many directions.
Fragmented and fuzzy, broken images haunt me.

I see you there, in the corner of my mind.
I run to you.
The more I want you, the farther away you are.
Will we ever be together?

I long for you.
You are safe and reassuring,
I need that now more than ever.
I call out to you.
Why can’t you hear me?

This is my torment. . .
In my mind, I exist.
In your reality, I do not.


Penned 01/07/2002



Filed under: Writing — sultryminxzoe @ 12:02 am

They say unrequited love is for fools. Having been there before, I can tell you it’s true.

You said you wanted me, said you needed me, said you’d never put anyone else above me.

Like a girl with big puppy dog eyes, I fell hard – hard for your lies.

I gave you my hand, I gave you my heart. I gave you the rest of me when the lights went dark.

Before I met you, I knew who I was.

I was strong; now, I’m just another naive girl strung along.

The worst of it is I blame myself. I let you think you could leave me on the shelf.

“It’s better to have loved and lost,” that’s a phrase reserved for the loved.

How do I reconcile that with my heart you should have treated with kid gloves?

Fallen on the floor – beaten, battered and bruised, it’s starting to feel like I always lose.